Coffee with a friend the other day led to one of those conversations that bridges the personal and professional in unexpected ways.
We were discussing alternative communities we both belong to-spaces that challenge mainstream norms around relationships and vulnerability. The kind of communities where consensual exposure is understood, yet where it's crucial not to lose yourself in the process.
This led to a question I posed to someone struggling with the harsh reality of navigating ENM relationships: Are you actually non-monogamous, or are you in love with someone who is non-monogamous and unwittingly compromising your values? It's something I grappled with myself years ago. Finding clarity brought liberation and growth, knowing that I am and have always been authentically non-monogamous.
It's the same question I'm exploring with senior leaders preparing for digital transformation: "Are we becoming ghosts in our own technological shell?" - losing our humanity in pursuit of innovation. Both reveal the same pattern: we become so invested in belonging to transformative systems that we abandon our authentic preferences without realising it.
My TERRA Method explores 26 technological paradoxes where leaders try to solve tensions that can only be navigated. I've adapted this for a banking sector leadership development conference,8 cohorts over the next 3 months, focusing on three foundations:
Power: Who truly has a voice in AI decisions that will shape your organisation for decades?
Paradoxes: Which tensions serve you better when held rather than resolved? (Think: innovation vs risk, efficiency vs human connection)
Presence: How do you maintain conscious leadership when quarterly pressures demand immediate answers? Because money is energy. How we direct that energy through our choices - technological, relational, organisational - reveals whether we're building genuine connection or becoming increasingly disconnected from our own systems.
The invitation isn't to retreat from complexity, but to develop the capacity to hold paradox consciously. To ask better questions rather than seeking quick answers. To remain present to our authentic experience while engaging fully with systems designed to transform us.
Whether we're navigating intimate relationships or leading digital transformation, the challenge remains the same: How do we embrace change without losing ourselves in the process?
What leadership tensions are you facing where the breakthrough might come from holding the paradox rather than rushing to resolve it?
